Why Our Boys Struggle So Much
They're Wounded
Our boys have experienced many wounds by the time they reach their late teens. Not every boy endures every wound, but we see these 4 wounds very often:
Father Wound: Many boys have fathers who are absent...or worse. Thank God for the fathers who are present and building a relationship with their sons, whether together or in separate households.
Mother Wound: Far too many mothers are overstressed and not supported enough to do all for their sons that they would want to do.
Education Wound: Many boys go to schools where they fall through the cracks and start slipping behind. By 4th grade they are already behind.
Social Services Wound: Many boys needing the help of professionals are left with inadequate care by overloaded, underfunded social services systems.
They're Confused
Where do boys learn what it means to be a man...what it really means? Far too often it is from other boys, who know nothing about being a man, and from the streets, which have a distorted view of manhood.
Fragile Masculinity: Our boys put up a fragile wall of "macho" that hides how vulnerable they feel to the slightest insults to their "manhood".
Toxic Shame: Our boys grow up with much shame and insecurity about themselves, and their way of handling it gets them into trouble with schools and later, law enforcement.
Vulnerable: Black boys in particular feel targeted by some teachers and law enforcement. Research consistently shows that these boys are disciplined more severely than any other group, often for similar behaviors.
Misdirected Rage: Our boys, understandably, can't find the right target for their anger.
They're Abandoned
Strong words, but hear me out.
Lack of Male-Specific Programs: In our schools, in our community, in our churches, there are not enough programs that
target the particular, special needs of boys. A "One Size Fits All" approach to teaching and raising boys does not take into account the developmental needs of young males.
Single-Parent Families: I've spoken to many single mothers who know that at a certain point, they start losing their influence on their sons. Not because mothers stop caring but because boys start looking for men who can show them what it means to be a man.
Research shows that boys who have their fathers involved, or even just a caring adult man, get better grades, stay out of trouble more, get girls pregnant less, and feel better about themselves (and lots more)!
Yet our community leaves them to fend for themselves too much.
Our Project Manhood Program Changes All This with 5 Powerful Components
Project Manhood:
A Proven Program That Turns Boys Into Men
The Original Project Manhood Program at Antioch Baptist Church
Camden, NJ | Rev. John Parker
Founded in 1991 by Sheldon Nix, Ph.D and his team in Camden, NJ, Project Manhood has been used in dozens of cities around the country to help boys aged 10 - 16 to become clear about who they are and the choices they must make. Boys love it, parents are grateful for the changes they see in their boys, and schools recognize that boys in the program do better in school (better grades, better behavior).
And now you can bring this powerful program to your community.
THERE ARE 3 MAIN COMPONENTS TO THE STARTER KIT:
COMPONENT #1: BOYS PROGRAM
Leader's Guide and Workbook for the Boys
Show Them How a Boy Becomes a Man
Developed by Dr. Nix and a team of men, this curriculum guides boys along the path to manhood, helping them navigate the dangers, avoid the detours, and make the decisions that will help them become a true man.
It centers around the story of Joseph in the Old Testament, a boy sold into slavery but who becomes a powerful man. We also give you other stories to use with the boys, plus links to video clips that reinforce the lesson. If you are in a school or nonprofit context, you can leave out the Joseph story or treat it as one of the set of stories of boys becoming men.
This Program Teaches Boys the 8 Commitments of Manhood -- Solid Values and Good Choices -- to Guide Him Along the Road to Manhood
Every week he will recite the Oath of Manhood to reinforce who he is committing to becoming.
Want to See Sample Lessons?
Both Your Leaders and Your Parents Will Get Trained On What The Oath of Manhood Means In Various Situations of Their Son's Life
Component #2: Parent Training Resources
Parents are critical to raising Black boys. We give you a research-based curriculum so you can empower them with key understanding and 6 essential skills for bringing up successful boys.
By Sheldon Nix, Ph.D, M.S.W. and Darrell V. Freeman, M.A.
What's In This Curriculum:
SKILL #1: COPYING
How to Make Sure They Copy What They See In You
(that You Want Them to Copy!)
You're son is watching you! He's watching all the time. It is how kids learn about the world. And it helps shape their character, because as they understand how you act, they adopt some of your attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, and more. Children model their behavior after what they see.
And at first, who they see is primarily their parents. Later it will be their peers. This module helps you identify what your son is copying from you and how to use that to help him learn the right things. The days of saying "Do what I say and not what I do" are over! You need a gameplan to shape what of your characteristics your kids take with them.
SKILL #2: COMMUNICATING
Part 1 - How to Listen So Your Son Will Talk
Communication, our 3rd "C", is a two-way street. And we have found that it is better for parents to listen first, listen to encourage your son to talk. That way, you know exactly what is going on inside him and can deal with that rather than what you think might be going on!
So in this module, we’ll discuss how listening can help improve your relationship with your child and make him feel heard. We’ll also talk about why boys don’t always tell us what they need or want from us as parents.
You won't believe the difference in communication between you and your son once you start using these techniques! Your son will love being able to share his thoughts and feelings with someone who cares enough to listen without judgment or criticism.
Part 2: How to Talk So Your Son Will Listen
In this module, we move from listening to the 2nd big part of Communication: talking in a way that makes kids want to listen to you (yes it's possible, even with teenagers!)
Imagine having an easier time communicating with your child and feeling like they really understand what you're saying - instead of getting frustrated when nothing seems to work! What would it be like if every conversation was calm, productive, and positive? How much happier would both of you feel?
This module will teach you how to communicate with your son in a way that he’ll listen. It’s packed with practical advice and tips on how to talk so your son will actually hear what you have to say.
SKILL #3: CLOSENESS
The Power of Love, Attention, and Affection
Closeness is the most important thing in parenting. It’s what makes children feel safe, loved, and confident enough to explore their world. And it’s something that every parent wants for their child. But how do we create closeness? How can we make our kids feel close to us? Especially boys?!!
This module will help you understand why closeness is so important and give you some practical strategies for getting closer to your son so he doesn't feel left out in the cold OR smothered!
These strategies will work even when there is some real distance between you and your child or teen (and yes, we know some teens are hard to get close to, but we help you with that).
And if you don't live with your kids, these strategies are even MORE important to help you be intentional about building closeness!
SKILL #4: COACHING
Guiding & Correcting Your Son's Thinking & Behavior
Part of parenting is guiding and correcting how our children behave. This module will give you advanced strategies for getting young son or teenage son to act more responsibly while giving you a better relationship with your son.
It will teach you how to be more positive, set effective boundaries, and discipline in a way that doesn’t damage your child’s self-esteem or break their spirit.
The end result--a kid who is becoming more and more responsible, effective, and successful in school, at home, and in life.
SKILL #5: CO-PARENTING
SKILL #5:
CO-PARENTING
Working Together to Raise Healthy Sons
You’ll learn about the benefits of co-parenting, what it takes to make it work, and how to avoid common pitfalls that can derail even the most committed parents.
It will help guide you through some difficult decisions as well as provide tips on how to handle those tough conversations so everyone feels heard.
Whether you are married, co-habiting, dating, or divorced, you CAN cooperate and collaborate to raise your children.
SKILL #6: COMMITMENT
Giving Time a Chance, Strategically and Effectively
In this module, we will discuss the 4 types of commitment you need to raise a boy into a man. And how, in a busy life, to offer those forms of commitment.
You will learn to use time strategically rather than get worried or angry when your son is not acting the way you want him to.
This will give you the patience with your son so needed, because if you are not patient with your son, he won’t learn from his mistakes and will continue making them over and over again! It can be frustrating but time is one of your most important "secret weapons" in raising boys today. Let us show you why in this module!
Component #3: Getting Started Meeting
We Want to Make Sure You and Your Leaders Understand the Basics of Running the Program.
So You Get Access to a Roadmap, Key Program Forms, and Training Videos by Dr. Nix. You Will Also Get a 60-Minute Getting Started Meeting with You, Your Leaders, and the Project Manhood Team
A Step-by-Step Roadmap to Getting Your Program Launched Quickly
Optional: Want Additional Training and Coaching?
Reading Instructions May Not Be Enough to Help You and Your Leaders. That's Why We Offer Training and Coaching Sessions with Your Leaders and Mentors and Other Resources. You Can Sign Up For that at Any Time.
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